Have you ever witnessed a suicide event, be it someone you knew, someone you cared for or just a stranger that you had probably only seen a couple of times? Have you ever felt the pain of the victims of suicide? I know this may sound depressing and it is topic that majority of “human beings” would try their best to avoid. However, I believe some people had thought of suicide at some point in their life. The reason could be you were bullied in high school, the stress of work, the feeling of being lost or some other serious factors that could have contributed to the rise of suicidal thoughts. Regardless of what, it is an important society issue that we as “human beings” should not ignore.
Recently, I have completed the series of “13 Reasons Why”, which is a story about a teenage girl who killed herself due to bully in her new high school. When I saw the title, I was a bit hesitant to click on the link as I thought it could be a boring series about the life of high school. I, however, gave it a try and out of surprise, my attention was permanently captivated by the series since episode one. I think one of the reasons that I could not resist it was because I myself had thought about suicide when I was in junior secondary. Thankfully I did not have the courage to do that, if not I would not be able to sit here to write about how I feel about suicide and the victims.
I still remember how much it hurt when I was on the last episode where I saw her heart completely crushed after the school counsellor did not try hard enough to get to her. I could totally resonate with the pain that she was feeling, as I am sure many of you could. The feeling of letting all the pain out through some form of relief such as singing, dancing, crying, self-talking or hurting yourself and then realised that you could probably give it another go. Yes… maybe after so many times, just one last time – but this time I will seek help, you thought to yourself. Filled with hope, you reached out to someone who you thought could grab you out from the despair you are in until “that person” crushed you with rationality and more judgement. At this point, you had lost all your hope and you told yourself “I knew it”. Then, the story afterwards was obvious, if you had watched the series or you had personally experienced this kind of pain.
People always think of teenagers who talk about bully are weak and attention-seeker. Believe it or not, they are not. Do you actually think they did not know what is coming for them when they seek help? Of course they knew but there wasn’t anything that they could do to help themselves and they wanted to stay hopeful. More often than not, these teenagers tend to be ignored by their friends or family members. When I say ignored, I did not mean immediately but gradually. This is mainly because bullying is not an issue that can be resolved instantly. It requires time and efforts to understand the victims and how they can work with the authorities to mitigate the issue to prevent the arise of this issue in the future. Furthermore, the lack of awareness campaign and proper procedure to identify suicidal teenagers are also some of the elements that cause the overlook of the effects of bullying has on a person.
So my guess is, people want to avoid problems and don’t want to have anything to do with a person who needed help. As a general belief, people tend to avoid pain am I right? I am not trying to blame people, schools or governments. But is the solution not obvious enough? If we human race could be more caring and show more empathy to each other, many of these victims could have been fully-functioning human beings. They could have been heroes instead of beating themselves up every single day thinking the world does not need them. You do need them, you do care for them but maybe not enough. It is not enough until you take action to show you care for them (this can be your wife, husband, sons and daughters, your friend or just a stranger you see often) in way that makes them feel better. Ensure that they receive enough love (don’t mistake it for attention) from you and others because that is what they need and lack of.
I have witnessed people who are always late to the rescue (including myself). Always too late to notice the subtle changes in behaviours and emotions. Always too late to care. We wait until we have lost them then we mourn over them. Why? Is that all we have? Could not we have done better? Yes we could have! Don’t wait! Don’t always wait until tomorrow to show your love because it might never come for them.
Just a side note, some people might think, you had been through the darkness and my pain is much more than theirs and so you believe they should get through this by themselves too. More often than not, you are wrong. People have different mind-defense mechanism just like people have different immunity levels. Some people are just unlucky enough to not have what you have – a strong mindset. Shouldn’t this be the reason why you should share it with them and inspire them? Tell them that life is worth living every second. Don’t just tell them but make them feel it!
I do not write this post to offend anyone. Also this is my first blog post, if you have any comment, please feel free to share them with me.
Thanks and choose to love always!